Revisiting Your Resol-ationships from January


Hard to believe that 6 months of the year have passed and here we are in July!  Back in January, I offered 4 ideas on how to improve relationships by combining them with your New Year’s resolutions, thus coined the term Resol-ationships.

That article brought more responses and attention to my blog than any other article I have written.  Locally, it seemed so many of you stopped me and mentioned the impact it had on  you, shared with me your plan for yourselves, how you had printed it and even used it within your own teams at work.  One person even told me she copied it and read it each Monday morning as a start to a new work week!  Managers updated me occasionally on feedback  received from team members.  And one manger wrote to say that 4 ideas were too much….each one should have been its own article!

So, thats my plan… I will be addressing each of them in the next four newsletters and look forward to your responses! 

Resol-ationships (from January 2012)

1.      Develop new eyes.  Be open to the possibility that you are trapped in seeing someone as you always have by something that may have transpired quite awhile ago, yet the feelings continue that keep you trapped in time.  Blinders prevent you from being open to even a remote possibility to seeing something good when your cloudy perspective immediately is foggy.

Have you been able to move into an active, thoughtful and thought-provoking mode when thinking of a particular person?  Who on your team (or personal relationship for that matter) just gets under your skin?  Sometimes, just hearing this person walk down the hall can make you bristle…and guess what?  It becomes very apparent to those around you.

In trying to move past this attitude that certainly doesnt help you, the other person or those around you. You may find it helpful to become actively engaged by questioning your thought process and actions. 

Many times, we just react on auto-pilot and have our antennae on alert to gather more evidence to prove we are right.  We have assessed the persons “character”, motives, whatever the case may be, found our conclusions to be accurate and nothing the person can say or do will change our opinion.

But, hold on!  Is this really true? 

By choosing (and it is a choice, by the way) to keep this person held in a negative light, not one positive attribute can shine thru.  Not one thing they say or do can slip thru your filter that negates a positive.

The great news is, you have control. It may start with one decision…to decide to be open to possibilities to see what you havent been open to see, up until now.

What a powerful phrase….Up until now.

Up until now, I have only been focused on witnessing the negative.

Up until now, I havent been open to seeing any positive possibilities for shifting my perspective.

Up until now….. you fill in the blank with what YOU realize on YOUR end, you have the ability to step in and change.

Remember, it takes 2 to keep things going in a negative direction and only takes one to change the dance.

Is it possible to take the high road and replace the blinders that only allow the negative stuff to flow thru?

What happens if a different lens can open up an avenue for richness, newness and appreciation to shine? Is it worth putting your best foot forward first?  

Try it…see what happens if you decide to BE different in your attitude, thoughts, words, and actions. Then write and let me know if something terrific is on the other side of what you’ve been thinking is “just the way it is.”  Go ahead…I challenge you!  

Ellen Nastir

Ellen Nastir

About The Author

Ellen Nastir is a certified professional coach with advanced training in Positive Intelligence, Organization and Relationship Systems Coaching, and Positive Psychology. Certified in virtual training, she works with individuals, teams and businesses in person and virtually.