Connecting on a Different Level


As mentioned in the previous newsletter, I am revisiting my well-received post from January 2012 entitled:  Resol-ationships and expanding on Point #2 here:

2.     Connect on a different level than you have in the past.  Approximately 67% of the population are People types (either as their primary {35%} or secondary natural style) which is the personality style that lives and breathes by connecting with others.  This is based on the foundational assessment tool I use with my teams, The PeopleMap™.

That’s a lot of  ‘people’ people—and many of them are part of your staff!

Do you ever try to avoid someone because you know they want to engage you and you’re just too busy?  Or, maybe you’re in the middle of a project or even a phone call, and the person is standing by –waiting to catch your eye—so you continue working/talking longer, hoping they will give up and move on?  C’mon…you know you do this at one time or another!

Many times when you see that someone who you know wants to “engage” in conversation, you may actually even start to cringe inside, feeling that you just can’t afford the time it takes, not interested and feel pressured to avoid eye contact at all costs!

Instead of avoiding them when you see Sharing Sal or Sally walk down the hallway, decide that you will spend 3-4 minutes engaging in real conversation with them.  The art of listening and sharing a brief exchange can go a long way towards their feeling seen and appreciated as part of your office team.  Ask a question about their holidays, the trip they took or their company that recently visited them.  Stop thinking about what you think you know, and get curious to learn what you don’t know!  Don’t automatically jump to conclusions by completing the end of their story, thinking you know the ending.  You may be surprised what you learn if you are open!

What I do know is relationships can be RE-established on a new footing when you try to do things a bit differently.  Think of it as a scientific experiment… try establishing deeper rapport by maintaining eye contact, body language that says: “I’m interested, tell me  more” and appreciating the good.  All team members (and family members!)  want to be seen for what they contribute and that they make a difference –don’t you?

What is one thing you can try to do differently that won’t cost you anything other than a few moments of your time?    Plan for it.  Schedule your calendar for 7 minutes (I swear, it doesn’t have to be long!) and make the effort to “BE” different in a conversation with someone you typically may not show interest in.  Watch what happens…  It only takes one  person  to change the dance….and consider the gift you BOTH are potentially open to receive!

Let me know…I’d love to hear about your “chance” encounter that brings about a shift and improvement in your work or family life!



Ellen Nastir

Ellen Nastir

About The Author

Ellen Nastir is a certified professional coach with advanced training in Positive Intelligence, Organization and Relationship Systems Coaching, and Positive Psychology. Certified in virtual training, she works with individuals, teams and businesses in person and virtually.